Wednesday, February 4, 2009

being myself.

I am comfortable with who I am.
It makes me happy, but it bugs me that people don't notice.

I usually feel like an outcast, even with my friends.
They don't listen to me. At least barely ever.
I have always been different, so I shouldn't expect anything else.
It is just very frustrating.
The closest to culture I have is the Catholic church.
And I still don't feel that close to the people.

Maybe it's my fault for saying things in a weird way or something.
I am the strangest person I know, and I don't think that anyone can understand me.
Hopefully someone does someday, and that it's a boy so I can marry him.

Everyone always tells me how innocent I am.
Or how young I act.
But I don't think they know me.

I strive to be child-like.
For the Lord, and my in my everyday life.
I love how children can express themselves and live in the moment.
I hope I can someday achieve that.

But at the same time, I don't think I am very innocent.
I know a lot about this world, and I think I am wise.
Well ... someone told me that once, and I think it's true.

I see our world in a different perspective.
I learn from other people's mistakes.
I live my life the way I see fit.
I have seen a lot of hurt and brokenness,
and I make choices in my life to avoid the worst.
Maybe I am too cautious, but I have to protect myself.

It takes me too long to forgive.
But I never forget.

I do regret things I have done in my life,
but without them I wouldn't be me.

I dress the way I do because I like it.
If I think it is cute, then I will wear it.
Not because I want others to like it.

I like being unique,
but sometimes I hate being different.

I am not simple.

Part of me is the society I live in,
but I'm not very much like it.

I am the weirdest person you will ever meet.

3 comments:

Corrine said...

I like this statement: "Hopefully someone does someday, and that's it's a boy so I can marry him." So funny and cute.

And I like you, even if you're weird. In fact, I love you!

Amy said...

i love your "weirdness," you're one of the most genuine people i know.

Amy said...

o and i agree with corrine, that's by far my favorite thing you've ever said